Why?
by Eveiveneg
Summary: Why? That was the first and foremost question on her mind. Why? It just wasn’t fair.' {One Shot}


Why?

That was the first and foremost question on her mind. Why?

Why did she have to be so gods damned brave? A person just shouldn't be allowed to be so courageous and selfless. It just wasn't fair.

Tears formed in her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. She hadn't even been there for her, and now she was gone.

When she had received the news just a few days ago, even though she had been expecting it, it had hit her hard. She knew, though, that it had hit her husband harder. He hadn't had the slightest idea of what was going to happen. She glanced over at him. His head was bent and his emerald eyes were filled with pain and sorrow.

This alone hurt her beyond words. She had known about it all along, and she hadn't told him. She knew that it was for a good reason, but that didn't make it any better.

Looking around the room, she saw so many people. She had touched every single one of them somehow, in one way or another. Raoul was in the corner with his wife Buri. His hand was wrapped around her shoulder and her face was buried in his chest. His black eyes shone with unshed tears. Shinko and Roald held each other, shaking as they sobbed quietly. There were others she recognized: Alanna the Lioness and her husband, George Cooper. Members of the Third Company were scattered around the area.

Her gaze fell on the Baron and Baroness of Mindelan. They stood together, holding hands. Had it not been for the solemn occasion, she might have smiled or even laughed a little at the pairing. Piers was about a foot shorter than his wife, making them a rather comical couple. But now it seemed no different than any of the others that stood with their wives or husbands. Though it might have been expected for them to be extremely emotional on the day of their daughter's wake, they weren't. They just were looking on with sad but understanding faces. She knew why.

It had been months ago when she'd first heard about the entire affair. She'd been sitting in her rooms at the palace, just reading, when someone had knocked. Getting up from her seat, she'd gone to the door and opened it. She'd been rather surprised and pleased at finding her good friend Keladry of Mindelan waiting there. But as soon as she'd seen that she had her Yamani face on, she'd realized something was wrong. She'd ushered her into the room, made her sit down, and gotten them both some tea. After a few minutes, Kel had put down her cup.

"Yuki," She told her. "There's something important I have to tell you. But before I do you have to promise me you won't tell anyone else of it."

"Of course." She'd answered.

"I mean it, Yuki. You can't tell anyone. Not Neal, not Shinko, not Raoul, nobody."

She'd begun to get annoyed. "I swear I won't, Kel. Just tell me what's going on."

She had.

"I'm going on a mission to Tyra." She explained. "War is brewing between our country and theirs, and the King needs to find out what's happening. I volunteered to go as a spy and try to do so. It's more than likely I'll die while I'm there."

She'd been so shocked that she hadn't spoken for a long while. When she did, it wasn't much.

"Why?"

Kel had looked at her, lost. "What?"

"Why?" She'd asked. "Why are you doing this?"

She'd turned her eyes down as she answered. "Because I have to. You know that. It's my duty. I'm Protector of the Small, remember? If a war starts between our countries, so many people will be at stake. And all for the sake of gaining land. It's so dumb. I have to try and do something to help avoid bloodshed. If it means sacrificing my own life to do so, that's just how it's going to have to be."

They'd been silent for a long time after her small speech. Then she'd run over to her and hugged her tightly.

"Who else will know?" She'd asked hoarsely.

"My parents, the Baron of Pirate's Swoop and his wife, the King and Queen, and everyone in the King's council."

She'd pulled back from her then. "Yuki," She'd asked. "Could you do something for me?"

"Anything." She'd responded. "Anything I can do to help."

She'd reached into her waist pouch and pulled out a thick envelope. "If- If I die," She'd whispered roughly. "Please give this to Dom." She'd taken a deep breath. "T-To tell him that I love him. To tell him that even if he doesn't return my feelings, they remain unchanged. To tell him that if I could've, I'd have done everything in my power to be with him and stay with him."

She'd paused and tried to regain control. "And Neal," She continued. "That I'm sorry. For everything."

She came back to the present as an arm wrapped around her. "Yuki." Her husband told her softly. "Yuki, please don't cry." Startled, she felt her face. It was wet. She hadn't even realized it.

"Neal," She gave him a squeeze and released him. "I have to do the speech. I'll be right back." He nodded and let go. As she walked through the people, she saw a familiar figure. Domitan of Masobelle, Neal's cousin. His expression was entirely blank, but his eyes revealed all the pain he felt. Yuki felt her heart drop. This was so hard on everyone. They weren't even able to have a proper funeral. Kel's body had never been found, probably destroyed by the ones who had killed her.

She stepped up onto the dais and turned to the full room. "Excuse me," She called. Everyone went quiet and watched her.

"Hello, everyone. I'm happy to see you all, despite the occasion on which we meet." A few people managed watery smiles. "Today we're here for the wake of Keladry of Mindelan, Second Lady Knight of the realm and daughter of the Baron Piers and Ilane of Mindelan." She paused, then continued. "But she was a lot more than that. She was a friend to many people, no matter if they were noble or not. I met her in the Yamani Isles seventeen years ago, not long after her family came. She was rather quiet, and many people there made fun of her for being from a foreign land. All they saw was a huge, monstrous Tortallan, odd and destined to be alone. But I, I saw something else. A determined child, quiet and different, but special. She was a foreigner, of course, but that didn't bother me. I made friends with her, and she was a great one. When she left for Tortall six years later, I was heartbroken."

She stopped again, remembering. "I didn't see her for four long years. But then I joined the Princess Shinkokami on her journey to Tortall to be introduced to the land of her betrothed. When we arrived at the palace, I heard how Keladry of Mindelan was trying to become a knight, and had become a squire in service to Lord Raoul of Golden Lake and Malorie's Peak, the famed Knight Commander of the King's Own."

She met his eyes in the crowd and smiled slightly. He managed to return one, barely.

"I was so excited, I could hardly contain myself. I went to the Page's hall, and saw Kel again. When we spoke to each other during dinner, I was happy again. I had missed her so much. We rekindled our friendship within an instant of seeing each other. She had always been that way. She introduced me to someone who became very important to me." She smiled at her husband, who seemed to be thinking back on the old days.

"She was a unique woman, determined and strong. Though it didn't seem like it, she had a spark. Something that just captured you and brought you together. She was a wonderful commander, I've been told. Though, of course, I never got to see it for myself." She smiled wryly, having long since given up on hiding her emotions. A few chuckles were heard throughout the room.

"She was also a loyal person. I never had to worry about trusting her. She was my best friend in the Isles, and a very close one after we met so many years later. She touched many people's lives, and I know that every one of them will miss her." She looked straight at Dom, whose face was still utterly devoid of expression. "And most of all, I know all of us won't ever be able to forget her, no matter what." She bowed Yamani style, with her hands on her thighs. The entire room applauded. She stepped carefully off and made her way back to Neal. Seeing that he was engaged in conversation with his former knight-master, she decided now was the best time to approach Dom.

She spotted him just as he left. She hurriedly went after him. When she finally caught up, he was on the balcony outside. She walked over to him.

"It is a beautiful night, isn't it, Dom?" He looked over at her, startled, then nodded. She joined him at the rail.

"I always did love watching the stars." She commented. "It reminds me of just how many other people are out there, just so I don't get too selfish." He didn't even crack a smile. It was worse than she'd thought.

"That was a wonderful speech." He told her. She smiled and thanked him. They were quiet for a long time, watching the sky.

"Dom."

He didn't turn.

"Dom, I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to forget her. You can't do that. It's dishonoring her memory." She was about to go on when he exploded.

"Dishonoring her memory? Dishonoring?" He demanded. "What does that matter? She's dead! She's dead and that's all that matters! Never to crack another joke, or smile again. Never to fence, or shoot, or joust. She's gone. Forever. Never coming back."

Her eyes blazed. "You think I don't know that Dom? Do you really think that? She was my closest friend. She was like a sister to me. Do you think I don't feel any loss whatsoever? I hurt, Dom. I really hurt. I've known her most of my life, much longer than you have."

He crumpled down onto the ground. "But Yuki," He whispered. "I loved her. I loved her, and I still love her. What can I do but try to forget her? How else am I supposed to keep on living my life?" He asked helplessly.

She sank down next to him. "You love her, and you're hurting. I understand that. But Dom, forgetting her isn't going to help. If anything, it's going to make it worse."

He looked up at her desperately. "What do I do then?" He wanted to know. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Remember her." She told him. "Remember her, and don't lose her. It's not fair to her or to you." She squeezed him around the shoulders. He threw his arms around her. They sat like that for a short while.

But she spoke before he got too lost in his mind. "Dom, I came out here for a reason." She let go and pulled something out of her obi and offered it to him. He watched it. It was a slightly yellowed envelope, with the word _Dom_ written on it in neat, practical letters. He turned to her, confused.

"She asked me to give it to you." She whispered. He took it and she got up and left. Before she went back inside, she tossed him a last glance. He was sitting on the ground still, taking out the parchment. As he began to read, his face turned incredulous. She smiled slightly and slipped back inside quietly.

She came up to Neal and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked back at her and smiled.

"Yuki, that was great." He swept her in a big hug. She returned his smile as her head was buried in his shoulder. She felt wetness seeping into her gown. She knew he was crying

"Neal," She said. "There's something you have to know."

"What's that?" His voice was husky.

"Always remember. Never forget. The only way a person stays alive is if they are remembered."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh, that just sucked. I was sick when I wrote this, soI just _know_ that later I'll regret putting it up. Please, tell me how much it sucked below in a review.

Eveiveneg


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